free.

Sunday afternoon I experienced going to the animal shelter. there was like, a bunny trout session going on. this couple wanted to "bond" another bunny with theirs. i didn't really understand what was going on. i wanted a bunny. what if i wanted the one they wanted? it was like tryouts. God bless em but "animal people" as i call them - the type who volunteer and take care of strays and wind up having 15 pets at a time... they are a unique bunch. i am glad they are around but like everyone else - they have their eccentricities and ... are a breed unto their own :) 
anyway... so while one woman was testing the bunnies out - holding her sneaker on one hand and monitoring them closely in this room that stank of dog sh*t... I was watching. wondering if I was going to get to hang out with the bunnies. there was a mix up with the room - they needed to do behavior observations of dogs inside there... but here we were trying the bunnies out, so i mean, ? they worked it out. it was all a little confusing. I mean this lady is standing there with a sneaker on her hand, watching the rabbits, while 2-3 of the rabbit ladies would offer comments on the behavior they were observing. "that's good, oh that's excellent, she's ignoring him."

they got along just fine. so i didn't set my hopes on "Benny" this cute older black & white bunny...

tonight i brought home the newest addition to the astoria family. she doesn't have a name yet. she's approximately 3 months old, fabulously happy and sweet. she likes to cuddle, apparently, loves Kashi Crunch cereal &  Carrots (aond with the usual salad)... she has a fascination with the floor sweeper, which is a little weird. she's a sober bunny, i took her to a meeting so she's working her steps. she's pretty adventurous. the subway didn't even seem to scare her.

i'm cleaning my room to make room for my adopted bunnies...
now... i am finding i have a LOT of certain things here in my room...
fortunately stockpiled taco bell containers are not among the wreckage.

!!!!!!
i have a bucket of writing implements (pens, markers, pencils, highlighters)
colored paper, printer paper,  watercolor paper, etc etc etc
books & magazines of all kinds
bibles (Gideons hotel bible, NKJV, KJV, NIV, Amplified, The Message... mini-Gideons)
misc. art supplies like crazy
postcards/pamphlets/papers needing to be sorted
tea bags tucked in random places

!!!!
cables (without whatever they came with...)
post-it notes
two-pocket folders

!!!

!!

!

Zeitgeist The Movie   / America: Freedom to Fascism

What I like about this film is that is seems to be trying to serve as a wake up call, and it's growing more widely circulated. It's free and available for viewing via Google Video... I like that it stimulates people to think, to consider themselves challenged.

What I personally find discrediting is the lack of accountability and organization within the film. Other than attributing quotes and using footage of news and people (some experts) discussing the topics being explored, they do little to provide sources for their conclusions. Making it feel very much like a conspiracy manifesto.

I hope that today's generations cease to take whatever information is spoon fed to them, that they begin to think and consider things of this world in light of truth.

A conversation with a new friend left me thinking of the "money trail" concept. Often truth in this world can be traced to money and the desires of those with power. There are times when those with less power gather together to create change. Those times of gathering together are powerful. Some of the only times when education has been reformed and dismantled of discrimination come when people gather together in the name of a common desire, a common goal, based on truth, based on human rights and they create change by persistent action together (One example is when California residents wanted their Chinese students to be allowed to attend local schools). Change doesn't happen alone.

I just watched the story of Ghandi, the film was amazing. The people came together behind him and rejected the status quo being imposed upon them.  His interactions with the governing officials from England

Recently my pastor at City Lights taught regarding rulers and criticism. He said, when we begin talking about those in authority we can become like late night talk show hosts - employing sarcasm and disrespect to ridicule our leaders. If you look at Jesus he was truthful and he was vivid. He called the people bringing into the temple a brood of vipers. He was legitimately angry. But I think there's a spirit to tearing down our faulty and flawed leaders that takes our eyes off  idea of truth + love. My calling a leader some cruel names or tearing him apart  lacks impact, as far as I am concerned. I think critique, discussion, objecting to a leaders ideas, practices and votes is perfectly all right. It's just when we get into taking shots at people, any person, it isn't the way I want to live.

Whose desires are driving what is happening in this situation? Whose money is enabling or disabling the action or inaction?

Watch for yourself
Jay Kinney's Review

Part I: Focus on Religion
 "Always Be Ready" put together an analysis and response to the "facts."
If you watch the film, please at least skim this collection of responses! The writers' take on Christian and Catholic history, knowledge of the bible and historical sources, is very skewed, unsupported and fallatious.

The first part of the film consists of a historically inaccurate breakdown of Christianity; calling the crusades and the dark ages Christian in itself is inaccurate - they were lead bu the Catholic church... The Crusades were a war, and it was not a Christian war but a Catholic war. Catholic officially do not believe they are part of Christianity (as in the un-Catholic Christians). Everyday practicing Catholics may or may not agree with that assertion but the Roman Catholic church itself  "Christian" movement. See this helpful article on that...)

Part II: Focus on 9/11
 Question? Have you heard about the PNAC? Why not?

Conspiracy theories  about 9/11 discussed in the Cornell Daily Sun.
What a disaster. There are so many things mentioned and so many discussions out there about how the attack on America was an inside job, how connected it is to the financial interests of the wealthy and powerful here in the USA.

Here are some nuggets of information...
Osama tape is planted evidence.
Bush Sr. was having breakfast with members of the Carlyle Group, including Bin Ladens' brother, the morning of 9/11.

Part III: Focus on the corruption of the credit system we function within, the Central Bank, the Federal Reserve... the tax system... wow.

Around  the last third of the film,  (1 hour 9 min into the film) I thought the film got most interesting.

I recommend just skipping up to this portion if you only watch part of the film. The first part is grossly inaccurate, and the conclusions at the very end are debatable (regarding the Amero and the North American Union), like much of the film there's not really a distinction made between their claims and facts. However, the discussion of the federal reserve, the system of credit our nation functions under...

If you need to see something to prove just how corrupt our federal government is and how corrupt the money system we function within is - watch this last part of the film and *then* look on to Aaron Russo's film America: Freedom to Fascism  (developed by a better filmmaker... whose work smacks less of conspiracy theory!).
  

I must end this now...
anothr video worth note, on the theme is this youtube selection of videos created by tyrannyofsouls.
 

these were emails exchanged over the course or an hour or so tonight. Consider this another one of my public service announcements on the nature of Internet dating. (Sometimes I wonder, am I mean? Be honest)

Hey Vanessa,

Were you on eharmony?  I got it from someone's ID information.

Can you send a picture? I was on Eharmony for a few free days around New Years.

Hey Vanessa, here you go. (attaches picture of himself, he's got clean close cut hair, is apparently of Asian descent, his expression is rigid, unhappy and tense, the room he's in is rather stark)

Hey, thanks for your interest, it's been nice to hear from you, but I'm not sure I'm interested. You look pretty intense, or tense, or something... You don't look happy at all in your picture!

I do have anger issues and a very strong passive
aggressive/mysogynistic streak, so maybe that's what you're picking
up.  If your into control and manipulation though, I'm your man.

(By now, I just come right out with it and don't care if he thinks all I want is to get started making babies)
 
Aggressiveness, anger, control and manipulation don't sound like good qualities for what I'm looking for, like providing a healthy environment for children .... and I want a family, you know,  down the line.
I don't think we are very in sync with each other, but I wish you the best.

 
Something tells me that if Jesus asked you on a date, that you'd
decline saying, "but you're Jewish...."

This is silly. no hard feelings! this just isn't happening.

God bless you,

bye!

You'd be surprised.  I can be very insecure and neurotic.  I too am
half Jewish.  The family name originally was Kimstein.

Seriously, some therapy might be a good idea, or joining a 12-step group or something - they are awesome.
It's sad to keep growing in life physically but get stuck with all these insecurity issues.
 
Kimstein? That sounds made up. For real?

PS.  Say hello to your cats for me.

I mean, it's more than evident that we are not a match. don't make me fall over laughing about the ridiculousness of what you're implying. turning you down is what, like my last hope? has the sky fallen, too? not to be mean, but that's ridiculous....  This isn't going anywhere but immature and unoriginal insults are uneccessary. Seriously... like,

Vanessa,

That's not the spirit I said it in and you know it.  At least I hope
you do....right?   Regardless, I'm sorry if thats how it felt.  For
what its worth, I have cats, lots of them.  They keep me and my mom
company in the basement where I live with my parents in between Star
Trek conventions and Lord of the Ring marathons...

You know the stereotypical cat lady! So anyway, no I didn't know that, but okay. You may have a real sense of humor, which is good. Enjoy the next Star Trek convo. ;)

Live long and prosper.

Crazyblessings!

***next morning***
Thanks Vanessa.  Glad to know I haven't alienated a Messianic Jew.
You guys have pull with the top man himself.

C

PS.  For my sake, can you just tell me you're a lesbian?  =)  ...bless you.

writing ransom note poetry
watching, first meetings 
stories shared on the train ride home
untwisting.

(1) I'm going out to play in the snow tomorrow with 9 other people from my church

(2) the IAM Conference 2008 is around the corner - I remember meeting so many cool people! and not keeping in touch with ANY of them! Now I want that to be different. I feel like I should have like, a more polished blog to point people to. lol. i am a tiny bit self conscious about how haphazard this one is! then again, it's more of a process-blog sort of thing. I am on my way to becoming a writer, seriously, this is just like, a temporary stage where i basically free write rather than remain completely stagnant and not writing

So I'm volunteering and it's going to be GREAT

I'm also going to go see St Vincent after the second day of the conference, pretty cool :)

(3) again, i am going to play int he snow in like 5 hours
i better get some sleep

(4) Cool friends coming out of the woodwork. Corgan came back from LA and he's like, such an easy going, comfortable person to be around, I sort of adore him and I've had like, 2 conversations with the guy. He's a writer too! He's just great. His friend Aaron was nice too. we all had dinner at Sidewalk and talked about getting this coffeehouse deal to just grow some more. a free venue! in the Village. come on, this should catch on. i made some suggestions..

(5) I been listening to these tracks from Straightjacket, by the St. Steven Delopoulos.

anyway

goodnight!

According to Wired, HACKERS are taking issue with Scientology and making it a mission to take them out.

i am always wowed by my dreams lately - when i remember them they are weird... so weird

dreaming

i'm in the mall and i run into tom eaton, who i met a few months ago...
so, her ein the dream we'er at a mall
he's doing this sort of performance art peice at Mid State Mall in NJ - near where i grew up
so of course i'm interested in helping with it, art, scripture, helping a friend, sure (in real life i haven't spoken to him since, i don't know when... but okay)...

so he gives me a slip of paper and says, read it when i leave Borders (book and music store) and react, however, and it has a verse from the bible about resting in the Lord 'and he doesn't say anything and there's a purple cloth - it makes me feel like a prophet in a way, out in the culture because all of a sudden i know God will tell me what to do when the time comes -

so when i leave the store i don't see him, i just do exactly what he said i head toward Rt 18 and then I read the  verse he handed me,  and I get it - its' reassurance, it's comfort, i hear - rest in me, here, now. rest. and i just curl up and unfold the cloth, it' s a soft cloth, purple, deep deep purple, and i hold it, and hear a voice singing a song - all i need
and i see him (he's super tall) and i start to sing too
you are all i need when im surrounded
you are all i need if i am by yself
you fill me when i'm empty
there is nothing else
you're all i need
...
i'm drawn to everything you do
and nothing, nothing compares
(Bethany Dillon)
...
this whole time i'm like, lying on my side in this mall parking lot "resting in the Lord" a car went by, went around me,
and he's filming from the other side... i  knew i'd be fine though (in the dream)

in a few minutes he comes over and says, wow , thank you i didn't know what would happen
and i replied, i really didn't know either, i literally had the impression of what to do, and did it
for some reason he had light green mud on his nose and on his cheeks, for the sun? i didn't know. someone came over and was wondering what was happening

Gods just up to something, I thought

* * *
waking up
* * *

hmmm. i went to write it down asap.
i'm going to head to church early... i went to bed really late wrapping presents ... i'd been out at the Queens Center Mall (good mall! this is coming from a JERSEY GIRL and NYC is a street shopping city, not a mall place - so that was refreshing lol) got my brother a PacSun gift card (actually prepping for hisbirthday in January, his Christmas present is a Vitamin Shoppe card and socks, the practical stuff :P )... I also got my mom bath bombs at Lush, she likes to experiment with things other people think are so novel and good for your skin - when meanwhile her own potions and creations are a million times better than what they say is "great" at Sephora, etc. I almost got suckered into buying a flat iron from an Israeli named Shimrit :) I looked up the brand at home and it turns out they break easily. no thanks! so... all in all interesting. what else... oh! Mamas Empanadas outside the mall, sooo yummy. i bought two, one pollo - ate that right away for dinner. the other one, maduro con queso, i saved and forgot about... an hour later it was STILL warm and dusted with powedered sugar and delicioso.

okay. on with the day. much love people.

colour card

its got novelty value

i love paint strips

i don't know why, they have ... whimsical names and they are bright or muted, they are colorful either way

i always want to create some purpose for amassing them - so i did!

the students will be given a card, and they have to learn and brainstorm about each word on the card
then write a story or poem using the words in their writing ... for example

on a strip with greens the names of the colos listed are

Landslide / Enchanted Forest / Pacific Pines / Woodland Mystery / Sea Drops / White Mantle

does that not spell ... fairies or a fairy tale or something silky and mystery and taking place traveling through woods to the sea? if i just wind up making these up myself it might be enough for me.

another example

Quiet Stillness / Strawberry Crush / Pink Tiger / Pinwheel / Pink Parfait / Pure Pink

okay so there was a lot of PINK but lets say I make some rules, like repeated words can be dropped... what if you have...

Quiet Stillness /Strawberry Crush / Tiger / Pinwheel / Parfait / Pure
oh my. zoos or circuses come to mind. parks? deserts. pure? i mean this one is a little more fragmented but what about a character, who wakes early before work to be alone at the zoo where they sell parfaits.... :o) Where they enjoy the purity of the animals sleep... the quiet stillness of the silence and the helpless animals sleeping... before needing to sell the Strawberry Crush and Parfaits to the pinwheel-wiedling youth and see-through-you grown ups trudging along through the lush scenery?

maybe the writer in me is looking for anything, something, anything! to get the juices flowing and get writing again. maybe i am overtired. maybe it will work in the classroom. i don't know. i won't know till i try, i suppose!

I leave you with... .

Silence / Goodnight Moon / Wish Upon A Star / Storytime / Blue Bow

*love*
Vanessa